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Can a Mixed Orientation Relationship Be Successful?

  • Writer: J. Keith Parnell
    J. Keith Parnell
  • Jul 16, 2021
  • 2 min read

Updated: Nov 6


A couple sitting together on a bench, looking out at the Golden Gate Bridge.


Can My Mixed Orientation Relationship Succeed?


You've likely found yourself here reading these words because you have discovered you are in a mixed orientation relationship (MOR). Congratulations! I'm just kidding. But really, though, that doesn't have to be a bad thing. Finding out that your partner's sexual orientation is different from your own can be an extreme shock. Especially if you have spent any significant amount of time thinking that you knew everything about this person you love. The circumstances of discovery can often complicate matters further. In a perfect world, our loved ones would feel confident and comfortable enough to come to us and tell us how they feel, but reality isn't always that simple.


It is not uncommon to feel betrayed, hurt, and confused when finding out that your partner is gay, bisexual, or questioning their sexuality. How could they have hidden this from me? What else could they be hiding? How will I ever be enough for them? Do I even know who this person is? Does this mean our relationship has to end? Can a Mixed Orientation Relationship Be Successful? You can drive yourself mad with all the worry and anxiety as you begin to question if any part of your relationship was ever real. A lot of times, it is hard to find anyone who understands. Confiding in others who have never experienced this can often fuel the fire as they try to help, but only end up adding to your fears. It can be a lot to process. It is important to take a deep breath, take a step back, and remember that you don't yet know what you don't know, but together you can figure it out.


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We get it. Talking about sex and sexuality can be awkward but in the right setting with the right resources, it really doesn't have to be...

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The MOR Community is an international gathering of MOR partners and spouses. Together in this private setting, we explore what it means to be in a mixed orientation relationship and how that differs in each relationship. We are so glad that you found us and we would love for you to join us in our discussions as we work together to eliminate MOR stigmas.

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